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I'm not perfect, I'm awesome
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I'm awesome in bed - I can sleep for hours
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Awesome
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Drunk and awesome
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I'm freakin awesome
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Awesome as f
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Awesomeness
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#Awesome
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I'm not perfect - Just awesome
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You had me at awesome
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I'm awesome
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Boobies are awesome
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Trust me, I'm awesome
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I'm not drunk, I'm awesome
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I don't get drunk - I get awesome
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Awesome, check
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I'm awesome but I even things out
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Buy me a beer, I'm awesome
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No probllama
Pretty sure I seized the wrong day
Growing old is mandatory - Growing up is optional
It's never too late to give up
I may be wrong - But I doubt it
I don't make mistakes - I date them
This is what awesome looks like
You can either agree with me or not disagree
I'm not trying to be difficult, It's called talent
Bear with me
Don't blame yourself - Let me do it
I see no good reason to act my age
Captain Awesome
I'm not like other kids, I'm in my 40s
Vegetarian is an old indian word for bad hunter
Free shrugs
Have you tried turning it off and back on again
It seemed like a good idea at the time
Alcohol you later
Sheep mooing
I'm not as dumb as you look
Ew. People
May contain alcohol
Ladies, mansplaining is short for man explaining
Success trains failure complains
Why be part of the problem
If i agreed with you, we would both be wrong
I Wasn't Listening - So I'm Gonna Nod, Smile ...
Nope
World's best farter - I mean father
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