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My girlfriend keeps complaining that I don't pay attention to her or something I don't know
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Please don't talk while I'm interrupting
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That's crazy
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Tuxedo
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Six out of five people suck at fractions
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This T-shirt has been tested on animals ...
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I'm not passive aggressive ...unlike SOME people
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Son of the beach
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Bow tie
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Hold on - Let me overthink this
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That's just great
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I never finish anything
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Congratulations you can read
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Fat kids are harder to kidnap
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People say I have no taste, but I like you
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It's like, you know
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I may be wrong - But I doubt it
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I'd do me
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I like girls that like girls
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Not to brag, but I've always washed my hands
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Naturally Sweet - No Sugar Added
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Great success
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Very nice
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I do all my own nude scenes
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Awesomeness
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I make stuff up
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Gold digger
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I slept with my boss and all I got was this lousy
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Namaste bitches
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I'm not perfect - I'm awesome
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I love boobies
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No probllama
Pretty sure I seized the wrong day
Growing old is mandatory - Growing up is optional
It's never too late to give up
I may be wrong - But I doubt it
I don't make mistakes - I date them
This is what awesome looks like
You can either agree with me or not disagree
I'm not trying to be difficult, It's called talent
Bear with me
Don't blame yourself - Let me do it
I see no good reason to act my age
Captain Awesome
I'm not like other kids, I'm in my 40s
Vegetarian is an old indian word for bad hunter
Free shrugs
Have you tried turning it off and back on again
It seemed like a good idea at the time
Alcohol you later
Why be difficult
But first coffee
Sheep mooing
I'm not as dumb as you look
Ew. People
May contain alcohol
Ladies, mansplaining is short for man explaining
Success trains failure complains
Why be part of the problem
If i agreed with you, we would both be wrong
I Wasn't Listening - So I'm Gonna Nod, Smile ...
My girlfriend keeps complaining that I don't pay attention to her or something I don't know
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